President Finger-Diddle has been zipped to Camp David to spend the next seven days resting, rehearsing for the first debate, and shot-gunning whatever World Health Oraganizaion-sponsored, weird science cocktail they pour down President Corpus Delicti to keep him erect standing, which he will also have to rehearse.
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As PJ Media’s own Bryan Jung wrote, the Daily Mail reported a potential secret squirrel-like mutiny in the Democrat Party looking toreplace Biden with someone less likely to drop a crabcake into his Depends on national television, especially when Trump throws Hunter’s pesky laptop from heaven into Foggy Joe’s frozen face.
Word on the street is this debate is Biden’s do-or-retire moment.
I suspect if Biden can get through the one-hour “rumble or fumble” test the left will claim that the 81-year-old has enough gas in the tank to ride out the election.
I believe Biden’s number one goal is to stay in office long enough to pardon his son Hunter from his horn of plentiful crimes.
Hunter still has to be sentenced for his three felonies involving buying a gun while hotboxing satchels of the Electric Kool-Aid every 20 minutes.
Many legal experts agree that Hunter and his Secret Service detail won’t be relocating to the hoosegow, as he is a first-time offender.
However, a nine-count tax evasion case in September could cause Hunter some trouble. The Oversight Committee has recommended that the Department of Justice (DOJ) investigate Hunter—and his Uncle Jim Biden—for being a couple of lying liars to Congress.
And just when you think Hunter has hoovered more felony convictions than a platoon of George Floyds, he may have to stand before a jury to explain the tens of millions of dollars his family took from China, Russia, Ukraine, and every other sleazeball Lester Diamond-type nation looking for a favor.
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I believe Gropey Joe will cling to the nomination like a barnacle. That said, if his mind continues its evolution into mashed potatoes at its current seemingly Tazmanian Devil-like speed, Corn Pop’s nemesis just might get the Nurse Ratchet special. After all, the United States can’t exude strength as our president gums jello before nap time, and the Democrats are currently scheming to send Biden to the tarpits.
The Democrat quislings looking to Capt. Bligh the cadever-in-chief claim the only turncoats who can pull off the caper of taking Biden down are Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and Chuck Schumer.
FACT-O-RAMA! It would make sense that Slick Willy is down to be part of the et tu, Brute club. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that Hillary made an appearance at the recent Tony Awards and both Clintons headlined a Biden fundraiser, a shindig one would think Joe would want to handle himself. I think Killary smells an opportunity to run for president again and, much to Joe’s peril, Hillary’s enemies have a funny habit of going away.
Biden’s biggest problem is that he has all the vim and vigor of a zooted koala bear. He has famously been seen staring and glaring the 100-yard zombie gaze. He salutes phantoms. Then there’s this;
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And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more painful, watch the silicone chip in Biden’s head get switched to overload as he attempts to say “Mayorkas.” Notice how his eyes lock and go full-reefer madness as his voice slows like a cassette tape getting eaten in your old Walkman:
One stunt like that at the debate and President Grampa Simpson’s political career will have a date with the mothballs.
If Biden is shipped to the old reptile’s home, Hunter will have to solve his legal problems on his own, and considering he “knows where the bodies are buried,” we just might see the Democrat Party implode like a vintage casino.