Drunkblogging the RNC Grand Finale: Make America Great Again!

One last time: YOU make this possible with your VIP or VIP Gold membership. So please take advantage of our best-ever MAGA24 promotion for 60% off your membership. I’d sure love to have you join us.

DYING.

I’ll let someone more rested and much more soberer [don’t you dare touch my word useagements, editors!] write the full wrap but let me say that this was the biggest, brashest, funnest RNC probably ever.

Goodnight, all. And I hope our VIP Gold members will join Kruiser and me at 3 p.m. Eastern tomorrow for the Five O’Clock Somewhere video live chat.

I’ll let someone more rested and much more soberer [don’t you dare touch my word useagements, editors!] write the full wrap but let me say that this was the biggest, brashest, funnest RNC probably ever.

Goodnight, all. And I hope our VIP Gold members will join Kruiser and me at 3 p.m. Eastern tomorrow for the Five O’Clock Somewhere video live chat.

Now the Secret Service has to deal with an arena full of balloon popping noises five days after an assassination attempt. 

I concur, my friend. Honestly, I’m having a blast trolling this thing. 

As we wrap up…

Better a candidate who can give a whirlwind, off-the-cuff speech for as long as he damn well wants to than one who adlibs “Anyway” because he lost his place on the prompter again before shuffling the wrong direction off the stage.

That was the perfect time to drop an f-bomb. MOMENT LOST.

Trump says that Franklin Graham wrote to him and asked that he not use profanity in the speech. 

“I’m working so hard to adhere to his note to me. I’m working hard on it, Franklin. But if the events of last Saturday make anything clear, it is that every single moment we have on Earth is a gift from God. We have to make the most of every day for the people and for the country that we love.” 

It seems that the first part of the speech was directed at skeptics, while the second half was red meat for True Believers. 

For those who are new to the Kruiser Experience: I’m on record as being a big fan of Trump’s rambling, extemporaneous speaking style. I was just hoping for this particular speech to be a little tighter. It’s good when they get to the reveling in a hurry at a convention. 

“Your expectations are not big enough.”

There ya go. Another Reagan moment.

As we wrap up…

Better a candidate who can give a whirlwind, off-the-cuff speech for as long as he damn well wants to than one who adlibs “Anyway” because he lost his place on the prompter again before shuffling the wrong direction off the stage.

Trump says that Franklin Graham wrote to him and asked that he not use profanity in the speech. 

“I’m working so hard to adhere to his note to me. I’m working hard on it, Franklin. But if the events of last Saturday make anything clear, it is that every single moment we have on Earth is a gift from God. We have to make the most of every day for the people and for the country that we love.” 

For those who are new to the Kruiser Experience: I’m on record as being a big fan of Trump’s rambling, extemporaneous speaking style. I was just hoping for this particular speech to be a little tighter. It’s good when they get to the reveling in a hurry at a convention. 

Billy Graham “was a big rally guy, too.” 🤣

Do we really think many (Any?) of them are still alive? 

Could we see another Jimmy Carter/Ronald Reagan transfer-of-power miracle? 

Could we see another Jimmy Carter/Ronald Reagan transfer-of-power miracle? 

Trump took the stage at around 10:30 ET, which means he’s been going for nearly 90 minutes. 

Has Trump even taken a single sip of water? I want whatever supplements he’s taking. Why isn’t he hawking those on his website? He’d make a fortune. 

Longest speeches in history, according to Livemint:

• India’s former finance minister V.K. Krishna Menon’s speech in 1957 (7 hours)
• Fidel Castro in 1960 (four hours, 29 minutes)
• Stewart Stevenson, a Scottish parliamentarian in 2004 (23 hours and 51 minutes) 
• Senator Ted Cruz spoke for 21 hours 19 minutes in the US Senate in 2013 against Obamacare.

I’m pretty sure this isn’t accurate, but I’m too tired to check. You people have Google. Do your own research. And get off my lawn! 

Calling it: The NY Times and WaPo tomorrow will take Trump’s flippant remarks about Kim Jong-Un and use them as proof the he wants to be a dictator. 

“Our military’s not woke. It’s just some of the fools on top who are woke.”

Trump had been talking about them sending their criminals to our country for a couple of minutes so I got up to stretch my legs. Walked downstairs, poured myself a brandy. Stretched a bit more. Walked back upstairs. He’s still talking about them sending their criminals to our country.

I’m almost halfway through my brandy and he’s still talking about them sending their criminals to our country.

Whenever anyone tells me that we just “can’t” deport everyone, my standard reply is, “Why not?”

They never have any answer.

In an alt-universe, John Galt is saying, “Damn, this speech is long.”

Kruiser for Trump speechwriter! Amiright? 

“I’d like to thank Ted in Poughkeepsie. Great American. I called him and told him that I needed new head covers for my golf clubs and he made them right away. Real Patriot.” ~ Trump, still on stage at 3 AM. 

Shout-out to “Silence of the Lambs.” “He’d love to have you for dinner.”

I think I’m hallucinating. 

I use to have a great Ross Perot bit in my act, but I don’t think enough audience members know who he is anymore. 

We’ve now entered the Ross Perot segment of the speech. 

We’ve now entered the Ross Perot segment of the speech. 

Analysis: TRUE.