Canada sure seems to be a popular destination for Americans who suddenly find themselves in a position where leaving the United States is a good idea – at least in their fevered imaginations. The problem is, these people, who are almost exclusively creatures of the loony left (yes, I know that’s a redundancy) almost never follow through on their threats.
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On Friday, Politico gave us some examples from Michigan – and these people are daffy.
“Oh, God, she has to win: I don’t want to live in a Trumpian hellscape,” said Erin Conklin, a 62-year-old retired homemaker and artist. “We might have to leave: Canada, if they’ll take us.”
Gabriela Jelinek, a 32-year-old marketer from Grand Rapids who took meetings at her day job while waiting for the rally at the park, said she had begun gaming out how she would survive a Trump victory.
“Truthfully, I have thought about moving out of the country,” she said. “I’ve also thought about having to marry a friend in order to protect my assets as a single woman.”
Why?
“Like a male friend — in order to make sure my life is protected, because I feel like we’ll be going to times where we need male permission to do everything.”
Talk about koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs. Granted I don’t know Gabriela Jelinek from Sydney Sweeney, although given the choice I’m pretty certain I’d rather spend an evening in the company of the enchanting Miss Sweeney than with the unhinged Ms. (I’m sure she goes by “Ms”) Jelinek. But this argument, her thinking that somehow a second Trump administration will result in her facing Saudi-Arabian style restrictions – that’s not even within intercontinental ballistic missile range of rational.
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And Jelinek wasn’t the only one threatening to head to the Great White North, Politico wrote:
Mary Harig, a 64-year-old retired registered nurse who wore a “Cat Ladies for Kamala” T-shirt, had progressed even further in her talks with her husband, who didn’t have long left as a postal service worker before he could retire.
“We’re close enough to Canada,” Harig said. ‘“And my husband has said, too, ‘We cannot take another four years of this.’ And if this does happen, we will go to Canada.”
I’ll offer a prediction here: They won’t go to Canada. They are, as the saying goes, just blowing smoke up a certain orifice.
See Related: We Need to Talk About Democrats Treating American Voters Like They Are Abject Morons
It’s kind of a shame, because if all of the unhinged lefties who routinely threaten to run off to Canada at every presidential election actually did so, not only would the mean IQ and average mental health of the United States both increase dramatically, but elections would suddenly become slam-dunks for conservative candidates. Now, Canada would have to absorb all these wild-eyed panicky nuts, but Canada already seems to have a surfeit of such people. Interestingly, Canada is already producing welcoming instructional videos for would-be émigrés.
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These people won’t run off to Canada, though, satisfying as that might be to the rest of us. They’ll still be here in 2028, after (we hope) Trump’s second term, when none of their dire predictions have come true. That won’t stop them from making the same dire predictions about a possible election victory for JD Vance, or Ron DeSantis, or whoever the Republicans run in 2028 – and it won’t stop them from making the same dire threats to run off to Canada. They’ll still be in their deep-blue urban enclaves shouting about the coming “Handmaid’s Tale” hellscape Republicans want to put them into in 2032, 2036, 2040, and so on. Bet on it.
To these people, I can only say this: Enough talk. Either put up or shut up, already. Run off to Canada and be done with it; we won’t miss you.