Movie Review – ‘Unfrosted’: An Expensive Order Served With a Golden Spoon, but Is It Palpable?

  

This weekend, Netflix premiered the directorial debut of Jerry Seinfeld in the historical comedic romp “Unfrosted.” So much surrounding this effort seemed deliciously odd and looked to deliver a serving of sheer joy. It is the telling of the history behind the creation of Pop-Tarts, that massively popular breakfast pastry, and all indications were this would be a comedic hit.

The genesis of this project was with writers from Seinfeld’s television career. The longtime friends came up with the concept based on one of Jerry’s stand-up routines. Script creation was one thing, but the comedian’s power was needed to get this into development, so his signing on as director as well as the star was key.

There are two things immediately clear on how much juice Jerry Seinfeld has in the entertainment industry: This thing had an impressive budget, and the star power Seinfeld was able to draw is nearly jaw-dropping. It has been estimated that there are nearly 70 speaking parts in the film, and almost all of those roles are filled with big names or at least notable faces. Famed comedians, big-name actors, members of “Saturday Night Live,” and several other notable figures are seen from start to finish.

(Some slight spoilers are to be had, but nothing to ruin the experience.)

The premise of this is the framework of the creation of the iconic breakfast item but told from a sheer cartoonish perspective. It is accurately set in the year 1963, and other correct details are used, but truly this is a fictional tale told very extravagantly. This heavily fantastical telling is part of the problem with “Unfrosted,” as we are tethered to the historical nature, but then the plot flies around like a rocket on a leash; you aren’t sure where it is going, but it’s not going far.

The other issue is that impressive cast. It leads one to expect high levels of comedic content but really what we get are very broad examples, piled on in thick layers, and often delivered like frosting with a snow shovel. Instead of wry satire and biting parody this plays more like a vaudeville routine delivered blatantly to the back of the room. 

To start, let’s get the actual history involved as a baseline. C.W. Post launched his cereal empire after visiting Dr. John Harvey Kellogg at a health sanitarium in Michigan. While working in the kitchens he saw the development of breakfast foods, something previously not in existence in the country. He stole the recipe for their granola, served with milk, and launched the Postum Cereal Company . Dr. John Kellogg fought against his brother Will over mass-producing their products – including the newly created cornflakes – with the doctor resisting. But after a fire at the sanitarium, Will gathered seed money and purchased the recipes from Will to start Kellogg’s.

In the 1960s that type of thievery was reversed. Post was on the verge of releasing a brand-new breakfast item, a fruit-stuffed pastry product you would heat up in a toaster, called Post Country Squares. The company fumbled by making the public announcement of the product, but it was still several months before its actual rollout. This gave Kellogg’s time to hurriedly develop its own version and beat Post to the grocery stores. Demand exceeded production and a craze was created.

In “Unfrosted,” we get a fractured prism version of this tale. Seinfeld plays Bob Cabana, Vice President of Product Brands and the right-hand man of the fictional heir Edsel Kellogg III (Jim Gaffigan). As they continue to wrestle for market business with rival Marjorie Post (Amy Schumer), Cabana makes an odd discovery.

He spies two kids dumpster diving behind the Post factory, eagerly devouring “The Goo,” the discarded ingredients of a fruity nature. Sampling the garbage Bob realizes Post is about to debut a new breakfast item. In a boardroom, Kellogg’s corporate spies reveal that Post has stolen some of Cabana’s prior research and is making the breakfast pastry. Here is where the broad comedy is in play, as one Kellogg spy is sticking a mop in the face of Marjory because it has a camera embedded in the head, and likewise Post has sent in a janitor with an obvious camera affixed to his floor waxer.

This discovery inspires Cabana to bring in a former problematic employee, Melissa McCarthy, so they can develop their own new breakfast item. Madcap adventures ensue, and along the way, the assembly line of stars shows up and departs, with the early 1960s as the stage. Hugh Grant plays Thurl Ravenscroft, the actual voice of Tony The Tiger, Christian Slater plays a milk delivery man, and more names pour out on screen.

Things really lose their bearing when McCarthy brings in a team of experts to help with development. These are real-life characters with no bearing on the cereal industry; bicycle magnate Steve Schwinn, Chef Boyardee, Tom Carvel, and Jack LaLanne are all in the lab for no discernable reason. The entire enterprise plays like wacky antics, with jokes delivered at an automatic weapons level in the hopes that some mirthful ordinance will land. 

The film is not without some inspired bits. The presence of a non-dairy breakfast item brings about the muscle behind Big Milk. Being of the era it was perfect to have Jon Hamm and John Slattery reprising their roles as Don Draper and Roger Sterling from “Mad Men,” pitching their campaign for the new product. Comedian Bill Burr does a great turn as JFK and has some biting lines, including commentary on Robert Kennedy Jr., and there is some amusement in the way January 6 is addressed.

One segment (seen also in the trailer) has the product launch of the Pop-Tarts depicted with a CGI close-up of a toaster, with the inner workings and the delivery of the heated food item staged just like a NASA rocket launch complete with mission control voice-over. It is well crafted and delivers the message artfully. But this also hinders the production, because you see just how much better all of this could have been.

The main issue with “Unfrosted” is that like the scenes of the product development, this was a case of far too many chefs in the cinematic kitchen. While Seinfeld does capable work staging and shooting the film, what was needed on the directing side was more management. You get the sense that this was a shoot with friends having a good time with each other, riffing and ad-libbing to entertain themselves but not really servicing the material. 

In the end, you are distanced by the over-the-top stretches of comedy after anticipating more elevated humor and the scattershot plot diversions that would have been improved with more discipline and a better-structured storyline. We get hit with a case of too much by way of performances but not better content as a result.

“Unfrosted” becomes a curious result, in that it manages to be somewhat fun while missing out on truly being funny. To that end, you get a film that reflects its product. It is not a great meal by any stretch, but you still might be willing to eat it.