Mysterious Monolith Manifests on Mountain Near Las Vegas, Authorities Strangely Incurious

  

Most of us take for granted the non-stop flood of information that surrounds us daily, thanks to this marvel of technology called the Internet; being as we are in the throes of the Information Revolution, most of us take our sips from the fire hose and then get on with our days. But once in a while a nugget of information comes along that makes one stop and say, “Wait, what?” In one such nugget, we learn that the Las Vegas Police Department has found a mysterious shiny monolith in the desert north of that city. 

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Stanley Kubrick was not available for comment.

A “mysterious monolith” has appeared in a desert north of Las Vegas. 

The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department says the shiny, reflective structure – similar to one found in Utah years ago – was spotted by its search and rescue unit near Gass Peak over the weekend. 

“We see a lot of weird things when people go hiking like not being prepared for the weather, not bringing enough water… but check this out!” police wrote on X alongside an image of the monolith. 

The monolith – a misnomer, as the object does not appear to be made of rock, and “monolith” literally means “single great stone” – is, yes, there, and it is shiny.

This isn’t the first such discovery.

The discovery comes months after a hiker in Wales captured a video of a mysterious “UFO”-like monolith on top of a hillside along the country’s border with England.  

So, what’s the deal here? Are these mysterious objects from another world? Are they an elaborate prank? Are there aliens among us after all?

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See Related: NASA Shakes up UFO Conversation: Releases New Report Discussing Unexplained Phenomena 

Are Aliens Living Among Us? Probably Not, but That Won’t Stop Researchers From Wasting Time Looking.

As should come as a surprise to no one, I have some questions.

First: The Las Vegas authorities seem awfully incurious about this thing. Has there been no investigation, or are they just not talking about it?

Second: What is this thing made of? It looks like polished stainless steel. Is that so? Has anyone checked to see if this thing is made from some mysterious space metal? Is it a solid chunk of metal or is it just a framework covered in plating?

Third: How is this thing set up? How deep in the ground is it embedded? How did it get there? Are there any footprints or drag marks? Any fingerprints on that shiny metal?

Fourth: Have any apelike creatures been observed dancing around it, waving bone clubs?

And finally: Is this related to the monolith that mysteriously appeared in the city of Las Vegas on crowded Fremont Street

A 10-foot monolith is standing under the Fremont Street Experience canopy in downtown Las Vegas.

“It showed up early this morning but we don’t have any other details right now,” said Cassandra Down, with Kirvin Doak Communications.

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The Fremont Street Experience, if you’ve never been there, is a busy place. Las Vegas is a party town – what happens in Vegas, after all, stays in Vegas – and it’s hard to believe aliens (or humans) could have just set up a shiny metal monument without somebody noticing. 

So where are these things coming from? In the end, we find that the most mundane answer is, as usual, the correct one; it’s almost certainly a stunt, just like the ones in Utah turned out to be. Sorry, folks; no monoliths from space today.