When I was a kid back in Allamakee County, in the few years before the house was plumbed and the septic tank installed, we depended on an old-fashioned one-holer a ways down from the house. It even had a quarter-moon cut in the door — you don’t mess with tradition. Needless to say, it was smelly in summer and cold in winter, and it inspired my Mom to a fit of poetry:
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There once was a house on Bear Creek.
Its owners thought it really unique.
The scenery was spiffy,
But to get to the biffy,
You had to walk a half-mile down the creek.
Now, I told you that so I could tell you this: New York City, now that the city has solved all its other problems, is building a bunch more public potties.
Mayor Eric Adams announced Monday a plan to build 46 new restrooms and renovate 36 existing ones located in city parks, adding to the city’s roughly 1,000 such facilities over the next five years.
The Democrat said the city has also developed a new Google Maps layer so people can easily find the locations of every public restroom operated by government agencies and civic institutions, including libraries and at transit hubs.
“Part of making New York City a more livable city is tackling the little things — the things we don’t think about until we need them,” Adams said in a statement launching the effort, which his administration has dubbed “Ur in Luck.”
“Ur in Luck?” Really? Mr. Mayor, that’s just a p**s-poor slogan. I think your public messaging people are going down the drain. Also:
The lack of public restrooms has long been a problem in a city where more than half of households don’t own cars and hoards (sic) of tourists go sightseeing by foot and subway. It can be especially difficult for parents of young kids, pregnant women, seniors and people with medical conditions, officials noted at a news conference.
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Uh, hello, Associated Press? That’s “hordes.”
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One wonders about the ultimate wisdom of all this. Oh, sure, public toilets are necessary in a big city, especially one that draws lots of tourism, as New York (inexplicably, if you ask me) certainly does. But seriously, New York, is this the biggest thing the city should be spending money on right now? Or is it even Number Two? How will the city prevent these new public loos from becoming overnight shelters for the city’s homeless population? Or being used as safe shoot-up stations for addicts? We can hope what’s left of the NYPD will stay on top of that, although, as the Big Apple’s troubles go, I’m not sure that’s an upper-decker. Also, the city’s budget may be strained in providing sanitary paper in the public loos; we can hope that users don’t have to resort to other means that may be available in New York, as I hear the Times are rough. I suppose Mayor Adams has a point, though, that this is a matter of city sanitation — and he has clearly decided to get this potty started.
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Finally, there was a rumor that two of the toilet installation folks on the project had fallen for each other and were discussing marriage. However, at last word, they were taking it slowly — it seems neither was ready to take the plunge.
And on that note, I return you to your Tuesday, already in progress.