Given all the real craziness going on around us, why not Bigfoot warning signs popping up in Pennsylvania wooded areas? Hell, it’s not like crazier things don’t happen in the Planet Looney Tunes world of politics on a regular basis — on both sides of the aisle. Buckle up, kids — here we go.
As reported by Not the Bee, park visitors have seen Bigfoot warning posters in wooded campgrounds in Pennsylvania since this summer claiming there have been recent “encounters” in the area and warning park visitors not to approach the mythical creature.
The posters advise park-goers to show “etiquette” and to be cautious. There’ve been sufficient numbers of posters and social media posts to lead the Pennsylvania Department of Conservation and Natural Resources to respond. Hence, Bigfootgate. You just know it’s Trump’s fault.
“These signs were not posted by DCNR,” agency spokesperson Wesley Robinson wrote in a statement to The Philadelphia Inquirer. He added,”Bigfoot is not real,” with a tongue-in-cheek disclaimer saying it was his opinion and not an official statement.
WARNING!
DUE TO ENCOUNTERS IN THE AREA OF A CREATURE RESEMBLING “BIGFOOT,” WE ARE INSTRUCTING ALL PARK VISITORS TO OBSERVE ELEVATED PARK ETIQUETTE, BE CAUTIOUS OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS, AND TO KEEP THE LOCATION OF ANY SMALL CHILDREN/PETS WITHIN A TIGHTER SCOPE OF AWARENESS.
DO NOT APPROACH THE CREATURE!
REPORT ANY SIGHTINGS TO A RANGER, FRONT OFFICE, OR TO THE DEN OFFICE OF MISSING PERSONS.
DO NOT POST SIGHTINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
Aww, c’mon! Everything gets posted on social media, you guys — most of which has no basis in fact!
As should always be the first question, are the warnings real, even if based on unprovable or misinterpreted “evidence”? Or, are they part of an intentionally perpetrated hoax?
As reported by the Philadelphia Inquirer on Thursday, the “official-looking” posters, which began appearing over the summer, are a hoax. (Whew!)
According to History.com, the modern version of the mythical “wild man” began in 1958, when journalist Andrew Genzoli of the Humboldt Times highlighted a fun — if dubious — letter from a reader about loggers in northern California who’d discovered mysteriously large footprints. “Maybe we have a relative of the Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas,” Genzoli jokingly wrote in his September 21 column.
Genzoli later said he’d simply thought the mysterious footprints “made a good Sunday morning story.”
But to Genzoli’s surprise, the column fascinated his readers. In response, Genzoli and fellow Humboldt Times journalist Betty Allen published follow-up articles about the footprints, reporting the name loggers had given already given the so-called creature who left the huge tracks — “Big Foot.”
And thus, a legend was born.
Back in the proverbial day, Oklahoma lawmakers even proposed a Bigfoot hunting season with cash prizes. They didn’t want the creature to be killed — but they did want evidence that Bigfoot did indeed exist.
Once Bigfoot’s story went public, as History.com noted, it became a character in men’s adventure magazines and cheap trade paperback novels. In these stories, he — Bigfoot was definitely a “he”– was a “primal, dangerous creature out of the past who lurked in the modern wilderness.” By the 1970s, pseudo-documentaries investigated Bigfoot’s existence and some films portrayed him as a sexual predator. Well of course Bigfoot was [is?] a sexual predator — isn’t every non-Democrat, testosterone-proud male?
Whether Bigfoot is real, or not — wait… this just in from the RedState BREAKING NEWS desk…
A Bigfoot sighting in Pennsylvania has just been confirmed — including a clear image of the “mystical wild man” creature:
No word on whether the creature is able to speak intelligibly or not. This is a developing story. RedState will keep you apprised of updates as warranted.
We now return you to regular idiocy.