Texas A&M gameday features NOT submitted to EA Sports for their new college football video game

The Eagle’s Travis Brown published a great article on Friday detailing the types of information EA Sports requested from Texas A&M as they build out the updated version of their college football video game (set to release this summer). It ranges from Kyle Field photos and 3D renderings, to the rights to Aggie band songs, campus images and more.

But the real question is, what unique aspects did they miss? Here are the top Kyle Field gameday features that likely WON’T be featured in College Football 25 this summer.

Parsons Mounted Cavalry’s ‘clean up crew’

Sure, the Corps of Cadets and Parsons Mounted Cavalry are time-honored tradition at Texas A&M. But you aren’t getting the full experience if you don’t see the guys with the orange “t.u.” wheelbarrows behind the horses cleaning up their deposits.

The ‘uncover’ police

It’s tradition at Texas A&M to remove your hat when performing a yell. But an even more highly observed tradition is being an a-hole to other people who haven’t removed their hats. If you want us to feel like we’re at Kyle Field, you can’t do it without a random “UNCOVER!” being yelled sporadically before any yell.

Misfiring pyrotechnics

NCAA FOOTBALL: NOV 07 Auburn at Texas A&M

Texas A&M’s revamped team entrance for 2023 included a big upgrade in pyrotechnics, though they were not foolproof (failing to go off properly for the season opener). But half the fun of the fireworks was the rush of anticipation as you watched to see whether they’d work or not? Perfectly functioning equipment? BORING!

Mis-timed sawing of the Horns

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: SEP 09 Nicholls at Texas A&M

Aggies swaying as we “saw varsity’s horns off” is one of the most visually stunning traditions in college football. But the real ones know that part of its charm is different sides of the stadium getting out of synch with one another as it happens. If you want realism, a perfectly timed War Hymn simply will not do.

Post-game traffic nightmare

A fun side quest within the game could be navigating the postgame traffic flows implemented by the university. Sure, it funnels traffic away from campus quickly, but it almost never lets you turn the direction you actually need to go to reach your desired destination. Want to go to Northgate? Sorry, you have to drive south out to Rock Prairie and get on Highway 6 to come back on a half our detour.

Doing the horns down for no good reason

Rivalry-specific aspects are a part of what could make this video game great. But they need to make sure they implement it correctly. Only doing the horns down when we play Texas? Nonsense. Make sure to have at least one Texas A&M student in virtually every fan shot throughout the game, regardless of opponent. It doesn’t make any sense, but you gotta stick to reality, no matter how absurd it is.

Bats (yes, bats)

The photo above may be an exaggeration, but yes, there are bats that make Kyle Field their home. They generally make themselves scarce on gameday, but the smell of guano which lingers in certain areas of the stadium is a homefield advantage that’s difficult to replicate, especially digitally.

Students letting us know every time a yell spells something

Texas A&M has many yells where we spell things. That seems school-specific enough, right? Wrong. If you want to really dive deep, you have to include audio of students yelling “That spells ARMY!” or “That spells TAMC!” in the middle of the yell, and then cut to a shot of a middle-aged gentleman rolling his eyes. If you really want to capture the Old Army vs. New Army dynamic in Aggieland, this is how it’s done.

THROWBACK: Kyle Field piss troughs

Anyone can do throwback uniforms. But what about a throwback stadium? As much as we all love the revamped Kyle Field with it’s ample restrooms, wide walkways and copious club seating options, there will always be nostalgia, for the brutalism of the previous structure, with it’s unadorned concrete, tight spaces and, of course, bathrooms constructed for maximum efficiency with no consideration for decency.