The New ‘Pride Flag’ Is a Seizure-Causing Kaleidoscope of Color

I’ll start with some research on the origins of the Pride Flag, so here goes. You’re welcome in advance.

1978

The first Rainbow flag was made by San Francisco resident Gilbert Baker. He was buddies with Harvey Milk. Gilbert was also known by his drag queen name, “Busty Ross.”

1999

A biological man, now a “woman,” invents a transgender flag because the pride flag doesn’t rep the transgender community.

2017

Racism! A cry of racism causes knees to jerk all over Philly. The city commissions a change in the Rainbow flag. After a lot of gnashing of teeth, Philadelphia adds black and brown stripes.

2018

A celestial object named Daniel Quasar zaps out something Quasar calls a “Progress Flag.” According to Quasar, he is a “queer non-binary celestial object having a human experience.” Quasar’s new flag mops together the Philadelphia flag brown and black, and added a multi-color triangle. Quasar (apparently communicating in human language) said the [triangle] “colors in the chevron represent trans individuals, people of color, those living with HIV/AIDS, and deceased members of the LGBTQ+ community.”

2022

But we’re not done. Once the box of crayons was spilled out on the floor, there was no going back, no end to the coloring. With “new genders” or “no genders” or celestial objects being added daily, Microsoft solicits suggestions from its massive staff.

This is the result. According to Microsoft:

“This flag combines 40 different flags from LGBTQIA+ communities around the world, including Abrosexual, Aceflux, Agender, Ambiamorous, Androgynous, Aroace, Aroflux, Aromantic, Asexual, Bigender, Bisexual, Demifluid, Demigender, Demigirl, Demiromantic, Demisexual, Gay/MLM/Vinician, Genderfluid, Genderflux, Genderqueer, Gender questioning, Graysexual, Intersex, Lesbian, Maverique, Neutrois, Nonbinary, Omnisexual, Pangender, Pansexual, Polyamorous, Polysexual, Transgender, Trigender, Two Spirit, Progress Pride, Queer, Unlabeled.”

What is the difference between Genderfluid and Genderflux?

What is “Maverique”? I’m glad you asked.

A term for a non-binary gender identity that is defined by autonomy and view about one’s internal sense of self which is not related to or derived from manhood or womanhood, but also is not neutrois or a form of agender.”

Yeah….

Don’t stare at the Five Times August GIF if you are: prone to seizures, blackouts, convulsions, hypertension, or swelling of the face. Microsoft’s Peter Max-like, kaleidoscope of color was predictable. Once you allow for one new gender, a “celestial object” in the back of the room will jazz hands and demand that [pick your pronouns] color be added. Next year, there will be more. And what about the two feathers in the bottom right? Is there a “two-feathers” gender? Are the pronouns “beak/talons”?

I noticed one thing right away. Do you see it? Way too much white. White Supremacy! Racism!

By the way, this isn’t “Pride” month, you bigots. That’s in June. This is October. October is LGBT+ month.

Confused? Yeah, me too. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…