The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming! Vlad’s Navy in Cuba

When the story “broke” about the Russian Navy in our hemisphere, a few things came to mind. The first was the movie “The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!” The plaintive plea of the movie title is a play-off of Admiral Forrestal who, in a deranged delirium, said, “The Russians are coming, they are right around the corner.” The undeniable fact is that Russian Navy is for the most part, nothing but a brown water joke. 

A Russian Submarine and Frigate Visit Havana – Now Let the Panic Begin

Back in 1966, just five years after Americans thought we were about to go to DEFCON 1, the comedy about a Russian submarine “Sprut” running aground off of America’s East Coast premiered. It was a comedy about the commie sub hitting a sandbar off of Gloucester Island and the escapades of getting away. The townies decide that the commies are “just like us” and end up defending the Russians when the Sprut finally extricates from the sandbar and gets back to sea. The townies defend the sub from the Air Force, which is intent on destroying it. The movie is hilarious and ironic. It’s a fun comedy, but it was likely pretty close to the truth. The Soviets were, on many levels, incompetent. Sure, they had sub-based nukes, but it’s an open question if they could have used them.  

The second part is that history has proven that the Russian Navy is just as incompetent as the Soviet Navy. Maybe even more so. Its navy has lost a number of deep-water ships to Ukrainian munitions while in port. Although the Russians (and before that, the Soviets) had boasted that it had more ships than the USA, one must look at tonnage and effectiveness. In tonnage, the Russian Navy is about one-third the size of the US Navy. And, most of that tonnage is useless support ships or entirely ineffective combat ships like destroyers. Russia has one carrier that if it tried to deploy would likely need to be towed back to port in a month. In short, its navy is a joke. 

So, what does it mean when Russia deploys to a Cuban port? Little to nothing. It’s the equivalent of a Vlad drive-by.  

Fox NewsReports: 

A fleet of Russian warships entered Cuban waters on Wednesday as they prepare to hold military drills in the Caribbean.

The deployment is likely a warning to President Biden after he gave approval for Ukrainian forces to strike some targets within Russia using U.S. weaponry, according to Rebekah Koffler, strategic intelligence analyst and author of “Putin’s Playbook.” Russian President Vladimir Putin is telling Washington, “we can touch you,” Koffler said.

“Putin wants to be close to the U.S. homeland at this time when the Russia-Ukraine crisis is on a highly escalatory trajectory — given Biden’s authorization to Ukraine. If something goes wrong and Ukraine strikes critical targets in Russia close to major cities, the Russian military can enable the Cubans to strike targets inside the U.S. or strike U.S. interests,” she said.

Yeah, sure Jan. 

Much of Vlad’s above-water navy is a rusting collection of wrecks. Some of its frigates are combat-ready, and the rest are just floating targets. The ships sent to Cuba were a “show of force” – nothing more. Russia’s only threat to the Western Hemisphere is its submarines. Are they much of a danger? In theory, yes. But when Vlad shows his poker hand by showing his ship and boats, there is little doubt that America has game-planned all of it. Hunter-killers are already waiting for the Russians to leave port. In the event of conflict, Vald’s fleet will find the bottom of Havana Bay or the “almost” deep water just outside of Cuba. 

Vlad will “reach out and touch” the bottom of the seabed.