Princeton Hamas Supporters Provide Update on ‘Hunger Strike,’ and It’s Comedy Gold

  

Pro-Hamas students at Princeton University in New Jersey provided a much-needed update on their ongoing “hunger strike.” Claiming to have been suffering for eight days, a rather plump ginger-haired man with a “Palestinian” keffiyeh railed against the administration for not meeting the demands he and his cohorts laid out.  

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That came just days after another “hunger strike” participant claimed she was “quite literally shaking” due to her malnourishment.

READ: Princeton Hunger Striker Complains About How ‘Unfair’ It Is to Them

“My peers and I, we are starving. We are physically exhausted. I am quite literally shaking right now as you can see. We are both cold and hot at the same time. We are all immunocompromised. And based off the university’s meeting yesterday with some of our bargaining team, they would love to continue physically weakening us because they can’t stand to say no to unjust murder.”

Standup comedians are going to be put out of business if Hamas supporters keep putting out quality material like this.

HAMAS SUPPORTER: We are now on day eight of our hunger strike, and we continue to put our bodies on the line for the sake of the liberation of the Palestinian people who have been under forced famine since the Israeli policies on October 9th announced a blockade that have created conditions of forced famine, massive food insecurity, and starvation for the people of the Gaza Strip. 

Since we began our hunger strike, we have had simple demands. We want a meeting and good faith negotiations with the university to talk about disclosure and divestment from companies involved in the Israeli occupation, and we want amnesty from legal and disciplinary charges for students that have been arrested for peaceful protests. 

Since that time, the university has failed to actually engage with our demands, and they have made clear that they still fail to acknowledge that a genocide is even occurring. We know that the university is not committed to keeping its students safe if it has failed to allow the hunger strikers to end their strike by meeting our very simple requests.

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I’m starting to think these Hamas supporters aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. Here’s the thing about committing to a “hunger strike.” For it to produce any leverage, the person on strike has to be captive, with the targeted entity legally responsible for their nutrition. Typically, that means someone in prison. 

A university has no obligation to force-feed its students. Yes, those students can buy meal plans, but they can also buy a burger from McDonald’s. What these students are doing is like going on a hunger strike in front of a Ferrari dealership until free luxury cars are provided. The result of that would be nothing. There is no leverage in that situation and the students seeking the “liberation of Palestine” (which has never and does not exist).

The other reason this is so ineffective is that it’s probably fake. Do any of these people look or sound like they haven’t eaten in eight days? I’m not suggesting someone is going to shed 50 pounds in that amount of time, but some tell-tale physical signs would arise after not eating for eight days. How much do you want to bet that these “hunger strikers” are sneaking food under the table or are overdosing on protein shakes? 

I hate to break it to the ginger Jihadi in the video, but no one in the real world cares about their “hunger strike.” To those of us who reside in the real world, it’s no different than a child throwing a fit. No, you aren’t going to get “amnesty” from legal and disciplinary action because you chose to not eat for a few days, and no sane university is going to blow up its investments based on the demands of mental midgets supporting terrorists.

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