WUT? Woke AWFL Tells White People They Are Not Allowed to Tan Unless They Are a ‘BLM Ally’

  

For comic book nerds such as this writer, one fun pastime we have is a robust discussion of who are the worst villains. We often refer to these villains as the ‘Rogues Gallery.’ Batman, for instance, has The Joker, The Riddler, Ra’s al Ghul, Bane, Poison Ivy, The Penguin, and many more. Spider-Man’s rogues gallery includes Green Goblin, Hobgoblin, Doctor Octopus, Scorpion, Rhino, Venom, and Vulture, to name a few. 

There’s never a resolution to the question of who is the worst, but it’s always a fun discussion. 

Just like with comic books, in the rogue’s gallery of truly evil villains in real life, it can be difficult to determine who is the worst. You’ve got terrorists such as Hamas, dictators like Kim Jong Un, pedophiles and groomers, and actual James Bond characters like Klaus Schwab and Bill Gates. 

But perhaps some of the worst real-life villains are the AWFLs (Affluent White Feminist Liberals). These ladies used to be known as ‘Karens,’ but AWFL is a much more accurate description. Occasionally, people will add the word ‘Urban’ so that the acronym is spelled properly, ‘AWFUL’ (except the secret lairs of these women always seem to be located in suburbia). 

Either way, their entire existence seems to be dedicated to making the entire rest of the world as miserable as they are. 

Take, for example, this wonderful woman, who has now declared that tanning — yes, tanning — is now outlawed for anyone who is not a leftist Marxist.

Wow. She must be fun at parties. 

That’s right, America. Tanning is now racist, unless you stand with BLM. An organization that, for the record, has embezzled millions of dollars donated by women just like this one without giving one thin dime to black communities. 

To save some time, we might ask this woman what things in the world are not racist, but we get the feeling she would just hand back a blank sheet of paper … while complaining that the paper is too white.

We didn’t go to TikTok to look at the woman’s profile, but we’d bet a cool C-note that she has ‘preferred pronouns’ listed there, along with a dozen hashtags such as #BLM, #Resist, #FreePalestine, #LGBTQ2IA+, and many more. 

Yes, they are. One box of wine at a time. 

They are deeply infected with the ‘Khaleesi Complex,’ a variation of the ‘white savior’ syndrome illustrated in the show Game of Thrones.

HA. 

She has gotten a minimum of 6-10 boosters. 

Of course, this AWFL doesn’t really realize that for many people (such as this Italian writer), tanning is not a choice we make. It just … happens. Even with plenty of sunscreen. 

See? LOL. 

YOUR DNA IS RACIST. 

… Or something. 

Progressives are never ‘progressive’ in the true sense of the word. They’re just racists who lack any self-awareness. 

Being a miserable scold IS her hobby. That and collecting cats. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

It’s (D)ifferent for Joe Biden and his horrendous spray tan because he is an ‘ally’ (whatever that means). 

We could really upset everyone who uses the word ‘ally’ by calling them ‘confederates.’ The screeching in response to that would break the decibel meter. (We’re mischievous that way.)

Psychiatrists could spend years on that question. The only thing we know for sure is they want everyone else to hate themselves as much as they hate themselves. 

Don’t try to analyze it. Just bask in the pure, unadulterated cringe. And mock it relentlessly. 

Boy howdy, you can say that again. Re-open the asylums. 

It is always a stiff competition for that title (especially on any day when Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, or any member of the Hamas Caucus is speaking). 

But for this one day, we’re comfortable giving this woman her crown and declaring AWFLs in general the queens of real life’s rogues gallery.